After completing a master’s degree in German and collecting countless language certificates, I discovered that I sometimes struggle to express myself in German. In this article, I talk about these limitations and their outcome.
MY CHILDHOOD AND LANGUAGES
Although it may seem strange, the feeling of not being able to express myself in a language has accompanied me since childhood. At the age of seven, I felt that Spanish was a difficult language to learn, despite being, in theory, my native language.
In elementary school, I was one of the few students who had to retake the language course during the summer to advance to the next grade. Yes, Spanish wasn’t my strong suit in school either, but ironically, it was thanks to those difficulties that I learned to admire the novels of Mario Vargas Llosa, Gabriel GarcĂa Márquez, Paulo Coelho, and other great writers.
With German, in particular, my relationship has been one of love and hate, with many tears along the way. However, after passing the certification exam, I thought that our story had finally ended on good terms.
FOCUSED ON GOALS
My German teacher used to tell us that passing the certification exam wasn’t really difficult since the language is logical. He may have been right, but it seemed that my logic, shaped by learning English, wasn’t entirely compatible with that of German.
After many ups and downs, along with several moves, I finally understood the logic necessary—not to learn German per se but to pass the certification exam. Like in the battle between Arnold Schwarzenegger and the Predator, I managed to recognize the patterns that would allow me to emerge victorious from my own struggle and study in Germany.
Today, on a Thursday at ten at night, I decide to take an online C1-level German grammar test to see how rusty my German has become. I’m surprised—I get more than 90% correct. At that moment, I realize that by focusing on passing the certification exam, I neglected the social aspects of the language.
MY TURNING POINT
When I was still a newcomer to Germany, I admired Spanish speakers who had already mastered German; you could say they moved like fish in water. Some had learned it in German schools in their home countries, while others, like me, acquired it through effort in Germany, though at the cost of many years of sacrifice.
As a joke, I would tell them, “When I grow up, I want to be like you.” Being able to shop without fear of asking questions, express my ideas with Germans, and, why not, even crack some jokes in German were part of my dream. A dream I thought I had achieved.
However, I must confess that, consciously or unconsciously, I have simplified my use of German. I avoided using complex words or sentences to the point of leaving them aside, either due to a lack of practice or simply to make my life easier.
Now I look in the mirror and tell myself: I can’t keep running away. It’s time to face those convoluted expressions, those bombastic words with more consonants than vowels, those declensions that transform verbs beyond recognition.
VETERAN SOLDIER
Although this time my life and future don’t depend on obtaining a German certificate, I have set my sights on achieving the Goethe C1. Following James Clear’s advice in Atomic Habits, I dedicate part of my daily time to completing a German grammar exercise book.
Unlike my past self, this time, as a seasoned veteran, I am not afraid to make mistakes when speaking. I dare to try, always asking questions and noting my mistakes to correct them. That is precisely the advantage of not being under the pressure of a requirement—this time, I can enjoy the process more.
The least enjoyable part, perhaps, is having to consume more German content on serious and current topics, even those I don’t follow in my native language. But it’s all for the sake of reaching the level I dreamed of from the beginning.
CONCLUSION
Many may think that having a German certificate is more than enough. However, as you may have noticed, my goal is to grow professionally in Germany, and I have also formed close ties with Germans. That’s why, officially, I am learning German again. Have you gone through this, or are you doing it too?
